The "Competitive" Spirit

BabyRS SG

I seriously think I may finally be convinced that I have too much competitiveness in me for my own good.

I have never been over-ambitious, and I'm definitely not a career minded individual. I will not bend over backwards just to get that much coveted promotion or position... in fact, I can safely say that I may be a creature of habit. I take comfort in the tried and tested; but when I choose to take risks, it would have been a very well calculated one.

However, that does not change the fact that whatever it is that I choose to undertake, I have to push myself to the best of my ability, and I rarely am satisfied until I am honestly pleased with my efforts. Unfortunately, my best usually means the resultant product will surpass all others.

Is it so wrong for a person to strive for the best in everything that he does simply because it is what his own self demands? If nobody gets hurt in the process... and no undue sacrifices are made in that journey, would you think to yourself: "What is it with him that he has to push himself beyond his limits?" Or... could it be that there exists a certain spirit of competitiveness in all of us that we unconsciously view another's achievements with disdain?

Perhaps it's just that if I were to be entrusted a task, or choose to undertake a challenge... I set my personal standards and work on it on my own terms, and not just because I'm told or expected to. I do not seek to outshine / outdo anyone else... and it's definitely not to maintain a certain 'status quo'. Whatever I choose to do has to meet my personal standards and expectations - and that often leaves me in a quandary when I'm accused of always having to 'win' and receive accolades constantly.

What do you think sets the gauge for 'competitiveness'... and at what stage can one be truly labelled as 'being competitive' by nature? Is there even a set standard to begin with? Or is it that everyone has to be bigger, better and bolder than everyone else - and when they choose to view another as competitive, are they only creating a convenient excuse for their personal envy?

Rhonda SG

I choose my scenarios to be competitive in. Most of the time, it'll be my favourite subjects in school or when I'm in some course. Laughing I'm highly selective though, and my competitive spirit does not apply across the board simply because I prefer to choose which race I wanna run in, and drop all other races because I do not strive to be some lunatic perfectionist and I don't wanna go bonkers or burnout from sheer exhaustion whilst running the race! Laughing I guess you can say I'm a lazy competitor! Embarassed

However, I can be very anal once I've chosen to compete in an academic arena. I not only end up being super-organised with my lecture notes and tutorial sheets, I go beyond what's required by reading and researching intensively and as you all know, it's the digging for info bit that is really tiresome and energy-consuming. Razz

After gathering a huge pile of notes, I'll start to devour them slowly. I feel that in order to know a subject well enough, you have to go above and beyond the confines of the syllabus and attack the subject matter from all sides! Launch an all-round 'attack'! Twisted Evil

If I top a class in that subject, the joy is short-lived because my competitiveness will then plunge me into a spiralling exhaustion and moodiness as I fight to maintain my position. Razz Embarassed I can get really uptight about it at times because for some strange reason, it means (or, I hope, meanT, past tense! Laughing ) a lot to me to keep my position. I don't suffer 'defeats' well that way and I hate to admit this but I will sulk for a long time over 'failures', as defined by me. Embarassed

However, for subjects that do not capture my fancy and ignite my competitiveness, I can be very laid-back and easy-going about it. Laughing I can even have a 'heck-care, mai fail can liao' attitude!

Which accounts for why I can score Distinctions or 'A's for my favourite subjects, and sometimes even top the class / faculty, and then for other subjects, I rank Top 10... bottoms-up! Embarassed Razz

I guess in the working world, I didn't compete directly with anyone in particular. I'm not fond of office politics and I just worked hard to make sure I won't be displaced and my performance graded so bad that I won't have any performance bonus (Yeah... I'm a 'minimalist' at work! Hahaha!! Laughing ) but other than ensuring my survival, I'm not competitive in the workplace. Well, not that I can remember anyways! I definitely wasn't competitive in my nursing job because I couldn't be part of the working culture there anyways. Razz

Oh well, I tell myself that after getting my PR and enrolling for further studies in Aussieland, I'd better remember that as long as I get that piece of paper I'm after, can liao - Distinctions and what-not aren't that important because I'm no longer a young filly liao, and I'd much rather have time to go around smelling the roses and exploring the place, having fun! Wink

Yes, I've grown older, and more mellow liao! Mr. Green

the Bear SG

i've been labelled an unambitious sloth... perhaps i am..

there is nothing wrong with being competitive, for ultimately, it's diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks Wink

i choose to march to the beat of a different drum...

if i'm happy, does it matter if i'm the best, the worst, the guy in the middle, Mr Average?

so, there...

maybe you are right.. many use "competitiveness" as an excuse for envy?

but hey.. someone said that the 7 deadly sins have become virtues in our "competitive world"..

i don't believe him Laughing

some are "competitive" unthinkingly because it's a norm in a society like ours

some do so because of a need to prove something..

that being said, where do people like us lie when we refuse to conform and are happy being "lazy bums"?

will we be judged like that when we are happy while those who are running to stand still in the rat-race are stressed and unhappy? why would a happy man be judged "inferior" to the man who is unhappy but has a huge bank account?

i may not have the "competitive spirit", but i'm a happy person..

i guess ultimately, we are who we choose to be.. following the wisdom of Abe Lincoln, i choose to be happy.. let the world say what it will, maybe the joke's on them? Laughing

choco B SG

People who put down others to make themselves feel better are nasty. It's a bad & unhappy way of living .

Rhonda SG

It is! But I reckon that sometimes, the snobbish party is so caught up with trying to stay at the top that he/she becomes blinded by how character-ugly he/she has become. It happens, especially to the super ambitious. Razz It's then up to close friends and loved ones who perceive this, to give the person a nudge or a kokz, depending on which is more befitting!

I'm not proud of it but looking back at my past, times when I was over-ambitious, I lose my senses and become like a horse with blinders on both eyes - see only the goal, which becomes all-consuming, and forget everything else. Razz Embarassed

Some people maintain a good grip on themselves even when if they're highly competitive and ambitious. Others lose themselves, sadly. Neutral

Phew! So darn glad that my competitive days are over liao! May I be semi-retired, please? Mr. Green

ShrodingersCat SG

There is a difference between being perfectionist and being competitive.

I also belong to the passive, non competitive type. I don't mind working with perfectionists - as long as they dont inconvenient me too unduly to achieve their own aims. I do respect them though and as far as it isn't too tiring, will assist them if necessary.

However, if I feel that a person is trying to do a good job merely to be competitive and has an agenda, then I lose interest. It becomes highly irritating to the competitive person who can't seem to make me move. Plus usually I am too lazy to be emotionally affected anyway. -yawns-

It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my work and get by with sloppy work though. It just means (to me) that I have my priorities and that when I feel I have spent enough time to do what I can do for my work - well that's it. I need to spend time on other things. I refuse to be bogged down by details if they are unnecessary.